Everything That Arises Passes Away

I had just been reading Toni Bernhard’s newest book, How to Wake Up, when I came across a line I have heard before: everything that arises passes away. As simple and obvious as this statement is, these five words contain an enormous amount of wisdom.  Everything I try to teach and convey through my blog posts, dharma talks, meditation practices, yoga classes, etc., is found in this one short sentence. Whether it is thoughts, feelings, sensations, sounds, plants, animals, people, or planets  - everything that arises passes away. If one were able to truly understand the depth of this message they would be fully and completely liberated from all their suffering.

Suffering comes in many forms, but the unnecessary suffering in life basically comes down to two things: not wanting what we have and not having what we want. For example, we want more money, but don’t have it, or we have anxiety and don’t want it. How can this one sentence possibly save someone from suffering in these examples? Let’s see! Money will come and go. If you have money, having money itself will eventually end; money comes and money goes. I’m sure you have heard of people who were completely loaded who lost everything, and even if you know someone who is filthy rich and only getting richer, this person will eventually pass away. What will their money do for them then? Nothing, except maybe pay for their funeral. Even the desire itself for more money is just something that arises and ceases – a thought that could either be attached to and suffered over, or simply noticed and released. Obviously, I am not saying don’t care about money, or that you don’t need to work hard to make money, but my message is just to know that if you don’t have money, that will change – and vice versa. "Gain" arises and passes away, as does loss. In the case of anxiety, well, there is some good news here too. Anxiety arises, which means that…you guessed it! It will pass away! When you are experiencing anxiety it may seem like it will never go away, or that it never changes, but if you pay attention you will see that the feeling is constantly changing in intensity, and that there are moments in the day where you are not anxious - like when your laughing with a friend, or taking a nice big bite of a hot fudge sundae. Start bringing mindfulness in to your day and notice how all that arises passes away. Dreams end upon waking; lying down changes into standing up, full bladder passes away to empty bladder, etc. Your whole day is full of arising and ceasing. Understanding this fact you won’t get so lost in grasping on to pleasurable experiences or feelings, and you won’t desperately try to escape unpleasant ones. They both pass anyway. So pay attention and relax! It will all pass away. Fully embrace your life right now because this too shall pass! 

Freeing Yourself from Yourself

Over two years ago I read a great article by philosopher Hilary Lawson called Stephen Hawking is Wrong. Lawson claims that scientists such as Hawking put “closures,” on reality as they divide the world into things, explanations, and theories. We mistake these closures for reality itself, losing reality in the process. Lawson explains that:

“…the world is not a thing or a combination of things, for these categories-these closures, as I call them-are the outcome of our descriptions. Instead, the world is open and it is we who close it. Through our closures we grasp the openness of the world as things, and out of these things we build stories and models through which we are able to intervene. But these stories and models are not the world, nor could they in principle come close to being the world.”

Scientists aren’t the only people putting closures on what naturally is open. We too, place a ton of closures on ourselves - believing in our thoughts and judgments of ourselves - rather than experiencing the reality of who we really are. A large part of practicing mindfulness and meditation is about learning to see these closures and practice letting them go. As I tell my clients, friends, and students all the time, we have built a prison in which we are trapped, but the prison door has never been locked; you can step out and be free anytime you wish. We typically don’t step out though because we feel safe and comfortable in our prison, but even the most comfortable prison is still a prison.

How can we step out of this prison? Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the ability you have to be awake regardless of what you are experiencing.  By simply allowing things to be, while bringing clear attention to the moment, you rest in what I call your natural wisdom. Your natural wisdom allows you to fully experience your thoughts, feelings, body sensations, etc., but keeps you protected from them, allowing you to be less overwhelmed and swayed by pleasure and pain. Your freedom lies in seeing your closures and choosing to step away – not through suppression, but through mindful awareness. The prison door is open.  What are you waiting for?        

Working Through Addiction

       An addiction is a strong urge or craving towards a certain habit, behavior, or thinking pattern.  With an addiction, one becomes enslaved to a substance or action that brings about a particular reward, typically – but not always – a euphoric one.  It’s important to understand addictions are not limited only to drugs, alcohol, food, and sex, but can also be found in negative thought patterns, views of oneself, ideas about people, beliefs about life, etc.  The bottom line is most of us have an addiction to something that makes us feel stuck and often times overwhelmed.  This may make it seem as though you will never be free… 

            Although it might seem hopeless it is possible though to work through an addiction of any severity.  By understanding your addiction, and with the help of meditation, mindfulness, supportive friends, and perhaps a therapist/rehab, you can free yourself from the shackles that bind you to your addiction.  In my years of studying my own mind and those of clients/friends with addictions, I have found there to be two main aspects of an addiction that keeps you locked into it’s seductive grips: 1) the feelings you don’t want to feel and 2) the cravings for the feelings you do want to feel.  In most cases, there are certain emotions, thoughts, or feelings that seem too overwhelming or painful to face.  Some examples are: loneliness, emptiness, depression, anxiety, fear, and grief.  When these feelings enter your being it may appear as though they will never go away; as if you will have to experience them for the rest of your life.  This is when the addictive behavior makes sense.  “I don’t like how I feel, and it doesn’t seem like it’s going to just magically go away, so I need to do ­­­­­­___________ to feel better.”  Fill in the blank with your escape method(s).  Although it may feel that certain feelings will never go away, this is in fact a false belief.  Feelings, thoughts, emotions, and sensations come and go throughout the day.  Nothing is ever static, and if you begin to pay attention with mindfulness you will find that everything changes all the time.  Please note, this does not mean that certain feelings or thoughts will not re-occur many times throughout the day, but just that they will come and go like clouds passing through the vast, open sky. 

            For an addict, it’s important to get in touch with these underlying feelings and cravings running the addiction, and learn to have the courage to stay with the discomfort, rather than immediately trying to flee.  Meditation is a useful tool for this as it teaches you to stay with whatever may be happening in the moment in an open and relaxed way.  By continuously facing and allowing these uncomfortable feelings to stay there you are slowly releasing yourself from their powerful grip.  Over a long period of time the feelings will become more manageable and spacious, but don’t expect results overnight.  I faced feelings of emptiness, hopelessness, and anxiety for four out of the five years I have been practicing meditation, until one day it finally decided to dissipate.  I am reminded of The Shawshank Redemption, when Andy Dufresne, after years of scraping pebbles from his prison wall, finally broke through the prison and escaped.  Every time you stay with the discomfort you are scraping a few more pebbles from the prison walls of addiction.  Keep facing the feelings and cravings – feel them fully without acting on them – and you will eventually escape from your personal prison.