The Wisdom of Atlantic City

This Christmas, I bought my wife and I a living social deal for a two-night stay at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. To make a long story short, we lost pretty much all the money we had brought. I had been to Taj Mahal once before, when I first turned 21, and lost everything! From that experience, I quickly learned you will most likely lose everything you bring to this enticing, money-sucking place. During the more recent venture to AC, I had brought a certain amount of money with the clear knowledge I was going to lose it all, which made leaving with nearly empty pockets not so upsetting. I was clear about the situation, I knew I  would lose everything, and I just enjoyed myself - sometimes I was on top, sometimes the bottom, but in the end I lost everything.

Looking back on my experience, I had what Oprah Winfrey would call an "aha moment." This is analogous to my life. No matter how rich I get, no matter what my status is in society, no matter how much my family loves me, no matter how safe and secure I try and make myself, I am going to lose everything. As Zen master Suzuki Roshi once said, “Life is like setting sail on a ship that is bound to sink.” As in my AC trip, we will have ups and downs - sometimes feeling on top of the world, other times being crushed by it's weight - but this is it. This is our lives. Although this may seem like a daunting realization, it is a realization nonetheless, and is one that can bring you to peace. Once you understand that you will lose everything, than you realize you've got nothing to lose. As Steve Jobs explained,"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Meditation and mindfulness slows you down enough to see life clearly as it is. Pleasant feelings come and then they go, as do unpleasant ones. Nothing can bring you ultimate fulfillment in this world - that is the biggest lie our minds try and make us believe. What once fulfilled you yesterday, annoys you today. If only I had this, soon becomes if only I had that. We have all received what we have wanted many times, and just look for yourself, are you fulfilled yet? When does craving end? 

When is the mind going to be satisfied? When you let go of wanting to fix life. Things are as they are in this moment. Be that! That's peace! That's joy! It's nothing special and it's not far away. Peace and joy are not attainments. You don't have to do something special to achieve it. Peace and joy is an absence, an absence of self-concern, an absence of hopes and fears. Peace and joy is becoming fully this very moment, no matter what the circumstances. 

Find peace and joy right now. Be aware of how life is and how your mind pulls you away from reality all the time. By noticing your mind, you have let go into awareness. There is your fulfillment. What are you waiting for? Let go!  

   

Living the Dharma

In 2011, I graduated from Montclair State University with a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Religious Studies. My interest in religion sparked from a deep and persistent yearning to turn my attention inward. I had felt a calling I didn’t quite understand, yet trusted enough to follow. I was beginning to “follow my bliss” as famous mythologist Joseph Campbell once said. Meditation became my tool of choice. Naturally, my meditative path led me to Buddhism, which I found quite intriguing. No one was telling me what to do or believe in. The path was up to me, and the journey was my own. Most appealing was the fact the dharma wasn’t just once a week, or around certain people at certain times, but rather was lived each and every moment. Whether I was on top of the world, or crushed by its weight, my simple task was to pay attention, without judgment, to the present moment. Sounds simple! Yet, as I'm sure all of you who have practiced understand, simple does not necessarily mean easy.

Seated meditation has helped cultivate this open attentiveness, or mindfulness, by continuously shoving me into the rawness of my experience. Over and over again, I have shown up to my cushion, sitting through boredom, restless thoughts, tears, anger, lust, anxiety, happiness, joy, and deep piercing sadness; all of which have come and gone like a midday spring shower. Seasons have passed, as have family members, friends, and much time. Nonetheless, one thing has been consistent amidst all these changes: the open awareness which has allowed these experiences to take place. Although I still get stuck in my thoughts, habitual patterns, emotions, and feelings, I know there is always a vast and peaceful place for me to go where I am always free – where I feel as though I am truly home. More importantly, I have found that sitting with my own suffering has allowed me to sit comfortably and compassionately with the suffering of others. Almost as soon as I began this journey, only five short years ago, I’ve wanted nothing more than to share this path with others - helping them alleviate the suffering in their lives. 

If you wholeheartedly devote yourself to the dharma, living it each and every moment, you will find it cracks you wide open, leaving you vulnerable and with a constant longing to relieve the suffering of those around you in any way you can; even if it’s as simple as a smile. I believe this is what Mahayana Buddhists call bodhichitta, or the awakened heart. With this awakened heart anything is possible. It has allowed me to literally “live the dharma,” not only through meditation and mindfulness, but in all aspects of my life. I currently own and operate a yoga studio where I teach the dharma everyday. I also recently published my first book, Be Your Sh*tty Self: An Honest Approach to a More Peaceful Life, which has introduced many people to mindfulness and meditation, and has opened doors for me to run workshops, retreats, and guided meditations. If I am not meditating or mindfully being in each moment, I am out teaching the dharma to others. Learning and teaching - a lifelong journey I am eager to be taking.

I’ve always said the dharma has changed me completely, yet nothing truly has changed. I am still “Mark," with all the same struggles and neuroses. The difference, I guess, is there is more space for all of these things to come and go without leaving as big of a stain as they used to. Plus there is more room for the suffering of others. By living the dharma, I became the dharma, and now my life is nothing but the dharma. I encourage all of you to dedicate yourself to this path and live it, rather than just read about it. Your life is passing by. What are you waiting for? Wake up already!