Click Here for Real Nude Yoga:

If you clicked here hoping for some juicy article on sweaty naked people practicing yoga, or perhaps a few images of a cute nude practitioner doing happy baby pose, you are shit out of luck!  The real nude yoga I am speaking about is not the one where the same mat your uncovered butt crack is sitting on in meditation is exactly where your face will be landing in child's pose. No, the nude yoga I am talking about is our practice completely naked of our concepts, judgments, labels and expectations. The raw, honest, direct experience of ourselves, just the way we are, on our mat.
Many of us bring so much to our mat - our habitual patterns, our way of dealing with ourselves and trying to impress others, and so much more. In fact, as a yoga instructor I see it all the time! Students shamefully laughing off the wobbly leg in warrior three, or others getting angry for falling out of headstand. Even worse are those who don't ever begin the practice because they are "not flexible,” somehow believing this means they can’t begin a yoga practice. Ideas, ideas and more ideas! Throw them all away and get naked! Not literally if course, but naked of all the extra clothes of our minds!

So how do we get naked in our practice? How can we strip away the ancient habits of our thinking mind? It’s as simple as feeling our body and breath, moment by moment – pose by pose. Feeling our way through practice (rather than thinking our way through it) is the best way to deepen our practice, and to bring together our body and mind. As we’ve all heard before, the word yoga usually translates as “to yoke,” or “to bring together.” When we are clothed in our thoughts and ideas there is duality and separation from the direct, raw (naked?) experience of our practice. This means we are far from the unity which yoga practice originally intended for us.   

We must learn to work with one pose at a time honestly, directly, and compassionately, keeping in mind our yoga practice is simply an expression of how we live our lives. The reactions and habits we practice everyday will ultimately follow us to our mat. If we believe we aren’t good enough, our practice will also never be good enough. If we are always trying to be better, or always have to be the center of attention, so it will be on our mat. But the good news is the fruit of our practice can and will leak into our daily lives. This is the transformational aspect of yoga! So if we want to live more directly and love more deeply, then we must practice those qualities on the mat! If we want to be less judgmental of our self and others, we must practice!

I personally struggled for many years with an insatiable urge to impress others. This came from a belief that I was lacking something, and I used the approval of others (amongst many other methods) to fill that void. Once I began to practice, I brought these techniques of escaping the lonely, empty feelings to my mat. I would stay in the front of the room, of course wearing a sleeveless shirt to show off the gun show, and would throw in arm balances and handstands - any chance I could get so all could see the difficult poses I could do. Go me! As my practice deepened and I matured spiritually, I began stripping away all of these beliefs, finally coming face first with my deep-seated, empty feelings of isolation. It took many years for me to become naked and feel fully all the things driving my personality “flaws,” but I now feel much lighter and freer. My practice now is much more naked, but luckily for everyone else practicing with me, my nudity is only spiritual!

We must ask our self often, what type of yoga are we practicing? Are we naked and free, or are we clothed with judgments, labels, expectations, and ideas? Strip away the extra stuff and connect with what's left.

I wish you all well on your journey back to yourself.

The Wisdom of Atlantic City

This Christmas, I bought my wife and I a living social deal for a two-night stay at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. To make a long story short, we lost pretty much all the money we had brought. I had been to Taj Mahal once before, when I first turned 21, and lost everything! From that experience, I quickly learned you will most likely lose everything you bring to this enticing, money-sucking place. During the more recent venture to AC, I had brought a certain amount of money with the clear knowledge I was going to lose it all, which made leaving with nearly empty pockets not so upsetting. I was clear about the situation, I knew I  would lose everything, and I just enjoyed myself - sometimes I was on top, sometimes the bottom, but in the end I lost everything.

Looking back on my experience, I had what Oprah Winfrey would call an "aha moment." This is analogous to my life. No matter how rich I get, no matter what my status is in society, no matter how much my family loves me, no matter how safe and secure I try and make myself, I am going to lose everything. As Zen master Suzuki Roshi once said, “Life is like setting sail on a ship that is bound to sink.” As in my AC trip, we will have ups and downs - sometimes feeling on top of the world, other times being crushed by it's weight - but this is it. This is our lives. Although this may seem like a daunting realization, it is a realization nonetheless, and is one that can bring you to peace. Once you understand that you will lose everything, than you realize you've got nothing to lose. As Steve Jobs explained,"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."

Meditation and mindfulness slows you down enough to see life clearly as it is. Pleasant feelings come and then they go, as do unpleasant ones. Nothing can bring you ultimate fulfillment in this world - that is the biggest lie our minds try and make us believe. What once fulfilled you yesterday, annoys you today. If only I had this, soon becomes if only I had that. We have all received what we have wanted many times, and just look for yourself, are you fulfilled yet? When does craving end? 

When is the mind going to be satisfied? When you let go of wanting to fix life. Things are as they are in this moment. Be that! That's peace! That's joy! It's nothing special and it's not far away. Peace and joy are not attainments. You don't have to do something special to achieve it. Peace and joy is an absence, an absence of self-concern, an absence of hopes and fears. Peace and joy is becoming fully this very moment, no matter what the circumstances. 

Find peace and joy right now. Be aware of how life is and how your mind pulls you away from reality all the time. By noticing your mind, you have let go into awareness. There is your fulfillment. What are you waiting for? Let go!  

   

Living the Dharma

In 2011, I graduated from Montclair State University with a Bachelor’s of Arts degree in Religious Studies. My interest in religion sparked from a deep and persistent yearning to turn my attention inward. I had felt a calling I didn’t quite understand, yet trusted enough to follow. I was beginning to “follow my bliss” as famous mythologist Joseph Campbell once said. Meditation became my tool of choice. Naturally, my meditative path led me to Buddhism, which I found quite intriguing. No one was telling me what to do or believe in. The path was up to me, and the journey was my own. Most appealing was the fact the dharma wasn’t just once a week, or around certain people at certain times, but rather was lived each and every moment. Whether I was on top of the world, or crushed by its weight, my simple task was to pay attention, without judgment, to the present moment. Sounds simple! Yet, as I'm sure all of you who have practiced understand, simple does not necessarily mean easy.

Seated meditation has helped cultivate this open attentiveness, or mindfulness, by continuously shoving me into the rawness of my experience. Over and over again, I have shown up to my cushion, sitting through boredom, restless thoughts, tears, anger, lust, anxiety, happiness, joy, and deep piercing sadness; all of which have come and gone like a midday spring shower. Seasons have passed, as have family members, friends, and much time. Nonetheless, one thing has been consistent amidst all these changes: the open awareness which has allowed these experiences to take place. Although I still get stuck in my thoughts, habitual patterns, emotions, and feelings, I know there is always a vast and peaceful place for me to go where I am always free – where I feel as though I am truly home. More importantly, I have found that sitting with my own suffering has allowed me to sit comfortably and compassionately with the suffering of others. Almost as soon as I began this journey, only five short years ago, I’ve wanted nothing more than to share this path with others - helping them alleviate the suffering in their lives. 

If you wholeheartedly devote yourself to the dharma, living it each and every moment, you will find it cracks you wide open, leaving you vulnerable and with a constant longing to relieve the suffering of those around you in any way you can; even if it’s as simple as a smile. I believe this is what Mahayana Buddhists call bodhichitta, or the awakened heart. With this awakened heart anything is possible. It has allowed me to literally “live the dharma,” not only through meditation and mindfulness, but in all aspects of my life. I currently own and operate a yoga studio where I teach the dharma everyday. I also recently published my first book, Be Your Sh*tty Self: An Honest Approach to a More Peaceful Life, which has introduced many people to mindfulness and meditation, and has opened doors for me to run workshops, retreats, and guided meditations. If I am not meditating or mindfully being in each moment, I am out teaching the dharma to others. Learning and teaching - a lifelong journey I am eager to be taking.

I’ve always said the dharma has changed me completely, yet nothing truly has changed. I am still “Mark," with all the same struggles and neuroses. The difference, I guess, is there is more space for all of these things to come and go without leaving as big of a stain as they used to. Plus there is more room for the suffering of others. By living the dharma, I became the dharma, and now my life is nothing but the dharma. I encourage all of you to dedicate yourself to this path and live it, rather than just read about it. Your life is passing by. What are you waiting for? Wake up already!

Anchor Your Mind With the Breath

In meditation, you are instructed to watch the breath. Put simply, this means to observe and stay with the sensations of each breath. The focus can be at the tips of the nostrils, or on the rising and falling of the belly, whichever is easiest for you to focus on. The breath becomes the anchor into the present moment; an anchor that protects you from being swept away by the fierce ocean of wandering thoughts. Normally, wandering thoughts push and pull you all over the place. For example, you remember  hurtful words someone once said to you, and immediately your lost in a storm of rage. Or you reminisce about a time when things may have been better, and you begin drowning in sadness and yearning. During meditation though, you are able to see a wandering thought and let it go, returning back to the anchor - coming back to the breath. Without the anchor you would be endlessly sailing amidst wandering thoughts of an untamed mind. The breath allows you to see the mind when it moves, giving you the freedom to follow the thought, or simply let it go and come back to watching the breath. With practice, you get to know your mind and learn which thoughts to follow and which to let go. If you can stay with the anchor all day, you will be seeing every movement of the mind clearly and can use your own discernment to act skillfully in each moment, rather than habitually. So throw your anchor overboard and practice staying with the breath, both on the cushion in meditation, and more importantly, off the cushion in daily life. Wake up and free yourself from unnecessary suffering. Stay awake!

Every Moment is a New Moment

In seated meditation, you continuously try to focus your attention on the movement of the breath. Of course, this focus is broken quite often by the onslaught of wandering thoughts your mind produces. Gently and patiently, you keep letting the thoughts go, returning to the sensations of breathing. If done correctly, you notice a thought has arisen, and you simply refocus your attention back to the breath to start fresh - a new moment to start over. Unfortunately, many people berate themselves for their inability to keep their mind still, not realizing they can just simply start over. Actually, the moment you start getting upset about your mind moving, you are moving your mind more. This is like trying to stop waves in a lake by hitting the surface of the water with a big stick. You are only creating more waves! Your mind is made to think. You will have many thoughts all the time. The point is not to stop the mind, but to learn to notice when it has taken you away from the breath, and bring it back over and over again. Every time you come back you have another chance to stay with the breath. At times, the mind may temporarily stop, while other times it may be jumping here and there non-stop. Regardless of what is happening, as soon as you notice you've lost the breath, you are able start over - no big deal.

As you continue with your meditation practice, you will find every moment is a new moment. This is great news because it means you can always start over. If every moment is a new moment, then this means every moment you are also new. This can be useful to understand, especially if you have said or done something that has hurt others or yourself (as we all do sometime or another). Rather than beating yourself up over something you have done, you can simply acknowledge what you did, forgive yourself, and start fresh. You can then commit to trying your best not to repeat the actions or words that brought about the harm. You are no longer the person who did this harmful thing. Your state of mind is different and you are new. Holding on to something you have done prevents you from living in THIS moment, and also prevents you from acting kindly and compassionately to both yourself and others. So be fresh, start over right now, whatever you have done is over with (even if it was only five minutes ago!). Commit to trying your best to bring the least amount of harm to yourself and others, and if you mess it up? Good news, you have another chance to start again. Every moment is a new moment!

The Three A's - Awareness, Acceptance, & Allowance

In meditation there are three main aspects being cultivated. These are what I call the three A's - awareness, acceptance, and allowance. Awareness is our natural ability to simply know what is happening in the moment. With awareness, we can dive into the present moment and experience what our lives are like right now; from sensations and emotions to thoughts and sounds, nothing is left out of awareness. Acceptance is the next A, and is crucial to any form of inner work. Acceptance allows you to face each moment, whether pleasant, painful, or neutral, without resistance. By accepting things as they arise in the moment you are creating a peaceful mind; a mind free of grasping for things to go your way all the time, and also free from aversion caused by resisting things you dislike. Naturally acceptance leads to the final A, allowing, aka letting go. By allowing whatever arises to be there, you are able to simply let it go - allowing it to be what it is, nothing more, nothing less. Whatever is present will arise and cease all on it's own. When you allow whatever has arisen in your awareness without judgment or labels, it's nothing more than a passing experience that neither needs to be suppressed nor acted on. As your practice deepens, the three A's will slowly become part of your everyday life, and rather than living habitually, you will learn to act out of an awakened mind - a mind that's aware, accepting, and allowing. Trust me when I say, it's a much more peaceful way to live. What are you waiting for...WAKE UP ALREADY!

Learning to Open

I have been reading, How to be an Adult in Relationships, and came across a line that captures the essence of my book: "Practice does not mean forcing yourself to improve but trusting your potential to open." Finding peace in your life doesn't come about by improving yourself but rather continuously opening to the present moment. Learning to rest in your ability to be the observer, or as meditation master Ajahn Chah would say "the one who knows," connects you with a peace beyond good/bad, right/wrong, pleasure/pain, and so forth. Being the observer, your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations no longer become "I" as the subject, but rather become an object within the vast spaciousness of awareness. As you learn to trust and rest more and more in this spacious awareness, the suffering in your life becomes more workable and less sticky. You become the spider, graciously walking across her sticky web, rather than the fly trapped and caught, waiting to be devoured. So how do you learn to open to your life? Simple! Take a few moments each day to fully experience whatever you are experiencing. Feel body sensations, observe your thoughts and feelings, notice the sounds around you. Do this in a way that excludes labeling and judging. Try to be with "the things themselves," rather than your ideas about them. You can also try to open by fully listening to others. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Don't worry about what you are going to say back, or get caught in your ideas about the person, but really listen to what they are saying. Try this with one person today. Watch their facial expressions, see what mood they are in, really try to understand the message they are conveying to you. Not many people know how to truly listen, so you may be surprised what happens when you listen deeply to someone. Lastly, if you feel ready you can try and open to a difficult situation in your life - whether it be anxiety, physical pain, a person in your life, etc. Instead of reacting habitually to this difficult thing in your life, give it some space and really observe it. If it's an emotion or feeling, really explore it with your awareness; not trying to get rid of it, but connecting with the quality of it. See if you can label any thoughts or judgements about it as "thinking" and keep reconnecting with the actual energy, as it's felt in the body. If it get gets intense, take your hand to your heart and say, "It's really difficult to experience this suffering. May all people who experience this be free from it." Most importantly with all of these practices, don't have any expectations. Sometimes your bad feelings will vanish instantly, other times they will get more intense or stay the same. Do it to practice opening up to the moment, not to get rid of anything or see results. I wish you all well on your practice. I am always open to helping so feel free to post comments or email me at beyourshittyself@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear from you!