Learning to Open

I have been reading, How to be an Adult in Relationships, and came across a line that captures the essence of my book: "Practice does not mean forcing yourself to improve but trusting your potential to open." Finding peace in your life doesn't come about by improving yourself but rather continuously opening to the present moment. Learning to rest in your ability to be the observer, or as meditation master Ajahn Chah would say "the one who knows," connects you with a peace beyond good/bad, right/wrong, pleasure/pain, and so forth. Being the observer, your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations no longer become "I" as the subject, but rather become an object within the vast spaciousness of awareness. As you learn to trust and rest more and more in this spacious awareness, the suffering in your life becomes more workable and less sticky. You become the spider, graciously walking across her sticky web, rather than the fly trapped and caught, waiting to be devoured. So how do you learn to open to your life? Simple! Take a few moments each day to fully experience whatever you are experiencing. Feel body sensations, observe your thoughts and feelings, notice the sounds around you. Do this in a way that excludes labeling and judging. Try to be with "the things themselves," rather than your ideas about them. You can also try to open by fully listening to others. When someone is talking to you, give them your full attention. Don't worry about what you are going to say back, or get caught in your ideas about the person, but really listen to what they are saying. Try this with one person today. Watch their facial expressions, see what mood they are in, really try to understand the message they are conveying to you. Not many people know how to truly listen, so you may be surprised what happens when you listen deeply to someone. Lastly, if you feel ready you can try and open to a difficult situation in your life - whether it be anxiety, physical pain, a person in your life, etc. Instead of reacting habitually to this difficult thing in your life, give it some space and really observe it. If it's an emotion or feeling, really explore it with your awareness; not trying to get rid of it, but connecting with the quality of it. See if you can label any thoughts or judgements about it as "thinking" and keep reconnecting with the actual energy, as it's felt in the body. If it get gets intense, take your hand to your heart and say, "It's really difficult to experience this suffering. May all people who experience this be free from it." Most importantly with all of these practices, don't have any expectations. Sometimes your bad feelings will vanish instantly, other times they will get more intense or stay the same. Do it to practice opening up to the moment, not to get rid of anything or see results. I wish you all well on your practice. I am always open to helping so feel free to post comments or email me at beyourshittyself@yahoo.com. I'd love to hear from you!